My Deadly Summer Vacation - 1

To look at Tess would be the equivalent of watching a swaddled newborn snuggled deep in the groves of comforting stuffed bears and sea turtles. It would be, except Tess isn't just sleeping she is slipping into unconsciousness as the blood seeps from her skull in the very spot where the candlestick holder in my hand struck her head. I can't help but wonder if she ever knew what hit her. I mean she was concentrating so hard on Wheel of Fortune. That damn spinning wheel, over and over, 150...400...Free Spin. I thought she'd jump out of her chair when it hit 1000, the silly cunt. But she must've known it was coming. The animosity between us sisters was building up so hotly in this tiny house, she must've seen it coming. She had to. She barely had time to watch Vanna turn all the letters before I pounced on her. Slamming the brass holder into her wanting skull over and over again. Her body fell limp before me and slid to the floor.

"Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat," declared the woman on the TV screen.

Now you would think that I would be in a hurry to cover up my crime, considering my younger sister would be home any minute. But no, oh no, I am not so sure I am done just yet. You see, I want to see who wins today's round of the Wheel first. Who wins that damn grand prize.

So what do I do? I push Tess' limp ass over on the floor so I can get to the lazy boy chair. It's still warm from her now cooling flesh. "Hmm, chips," I murmur to myself, "yes, I'd like some chips Tess." They were good. But somehow considering today's triumphs they tasted even better. Like something to be savored and not stuffed down your throat like so many pieces of humble pie.

I'd like to think that somehow Tess was with me right up until the end when the fat woman in the yellow dress won the grand prize and hugged Pat so damn tight I thought his head would deflate. That fat ass. She reminds me of my mom's fat ass. Always stuffing food in her mouth. I'm glad I dealt with that fat ass already.

But now, as the credits for the Wheel flash before us I notice that Tess did actually make it through to the end. In fact, the bitch is trying to crawl away.

Perhaps that good ol' brass stick wasn't big and brassy enough. So I go outside to the tool shed...