My Deadly Summer Vacation -2

Now why my father has so much shit in this tool shed is beyond me. Who in the hell needs four lawn mowers with no grass? I could see if I were running a business or something but what the fuck? Four lawn mowers? Really, I mean really?

I guess I could've been out there in that shed all day looking for something but I just don't think I had the patience. Well, at least not the patience to sift through all that shit in my father's shed. As I stood there looking at the tools scattered all over the place I couldn't help but giggle to myself. Boy, under any other circumstances, my father would have hung me out to dry if he saw me in here. But I guess now with him scaring crows in the backyard, he can't really worry about hanging too much of anything.

While I stood there happily reflecting my father's fate, I caught a glimpse of something out the corner of my eye. A shovel. I suppose a shovel would work but how interesting is a shovel anyway? But I hold on to it just in case, swinging it like I used to in little league when I was... well, when I was different. I don't know, something about the awkwardness of the wide metal and the skinny wooden stick just doesn't appeal to me. I don't really like the way it fits into my hands. Just awkward. Then I saw it...the chainsaw.

No, wait, wait...a chainsaw makes way too much noise. I can't hear myself think over a chainsaw. Hmmm.....what about, well a hammer is just too much work. So I continued to dig through the clusterfuck which is my father's tool shed and the answer damn near hit me in the face. Well, actually I tripped and damn near hit IT in the face. The stapler. And no, it's not one of those staplers you see lining so many cubicles like lights on a Christmas tree. No, it's one of those huge staplers used to staple wood frames in houses. I love those. Love the sound of the wood getting pounded by those giant staples. It's such a turn on. Always was. Too bad I didn't become a carpenter.

Anyhoo, the stapler had to do the trick. At least that's what I was going with. No hurry though, I mean how far could she actually get? The phones are all dead anyway, I saw to that weeks ago. No, no, she had no where to run so why should I rush back to her? This time she will have to make time for me whether she likes it or not. I am in control now. Whether she makes it to the next round is all in my hands. And I like it. I mean for the first time I really, really like it.